Fun vs. Happiness: Learning The Difference

I have found that one of life’s biggest lessons is learning the difference between having fun vs. being happy.

Most people believe that happiness and fun are virtually identical.  When asked to imagine a scene of happy people, most conjure up a picture of people having fun – laughing, playing games, drinking at a party, etc.

And why is ‘having fun’ such a relentless pursuit?  Why do we always seem to look for opportunities to have fun?

The most obvious reason is that fun is enjoyable, and we are programmed to pursue what we enjoy – food, drink, sex, and all the other pleasures of the senses.  But there is a deeper reason why people so seriously pursue fun – they believe it will bring them happiness.
 
Often, however, this is a flawed premise that can lead people to irreversible unhappiness.

To understand why fun doesn’t necessarily create happiness and can even conflict with it, we should understand the major difference between fun and happiness:  fun is temporary; happiness is ongoing.  Or to put it another way, fun is during and happiness is during AND after.

Here’s a closely-related example to your weight loss endeavor in the Boot Camp: Eating fattening and junk food. 

Let’s face it, eating delicious-tasting, foods that are high in fat and sugar is a great deal of fun.  When you do it occasionally, it can be a very gratifying experience.  It can give us lots of pleasure for the moment and in some cases, depending upon who we are with, can be memorable.

But, when we start having this form of overindulging fun too often, eating fattening and junk food usually becomes a source of unhappiness that we often pay the price for in how we look, how we feel, and we see ourselves from a self-esteem point of view.

So does this mean you shouldn’t have any fun at all when it comes eating?  No, as long as you know how to have it.

First, make the decision to look for another type or form of fun to fill your ‘fun appetite’.  Decide that when you want to have ‘fun’, you’re NOT going to rely on crappy foods that you already know will torpedo your weight loss goals and how you ultimately want to look and feel. 

Second, if you seem to rely on eating certain foods as comfort foods to offset feeling sad, feeling empty inside, feeling rejected, or as a temporary reward for doing something great that no one gives you any recognition for, change your gears completely.  By this, I mean that instead of reaching for food to feel better about yourself, take up an activity that is ‘active’. 

Stop feeding yourself just to feel better about yourself as a ‘fun thing’ that you know won’t last long.  Stand up… draw the line in the sand… and decide today to make the switch from ”feeding good” to feeling good by doing something that has motion to it.  One of my private coaching clients made the switch from stopping at McDonalds and eating 4 double cheeseburgers every time he felt unappreciated or stressed to stopping at a local high-end sports car dealer and driving his favorite model of Jaguar.

Third, decide that when you are going to “eat for fun”, you make it a planned event.  Decide you’re NOT going to do it at random or out of frustration.  Make the eating-for-fun occasion something you will value and appreciate, and be even more selective about who you are going to do it with so it’s memorable.

Developing a proper approach and understanding to fun, particularly when it comes to “eating fun”, can be one of life’s most liberating and powerful discoveries.  The moment you “get it” that the temporary pleasure you derive from eating junk for fun doesn’t lead to being happy and the body you really want, you’ll begin to live a different lifestyle, the effects of which can be life transforming.

So I ask you… are you looking for just the momentary fun that doesn’t last, or for the sustained happiness that comes from more strategic eating that will give you the leaner and healthier body you want?

Until next time…